Fannish natter

[lucymonster]

Today, for reasons too dull and convoluted to be worth recounting, I experienced the mortifying ordeal of rediscovering one's teenage fanfic. I daresay it's done me good. From now on, if I'm ever tempted to get sniffy about Kids These Days with their issuefic and their thinly veiled self-inserts, I can remind myself of the time I published angsty teen-mental-health-crisis fic about fucking Haldir from Lord of the Rings and eat some nice, nutritious humble pie.

(Thank goodness I used to change pseuds so often. Fifteen-year-old me is not untraceable, exactly, but you'd have to work bloody hard and the payoff would be shit.)

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I think I'm probably done tinkering with my candyheartsex  signup? I've taken a radically different approach this time: instead of my usual maximalist requests, I've whittled myself down to just three teeny-tiny rare ships/gen combos. I think it's the right call. I wanted all the things I was originally planning to request, but these are the ones my heart seems to be most set on right now. Two of my three fandoms already have offers, too, so it's possible I won't even be a pinch hit!

It feels bizarre not to be requesting anything Reylo-adjacent. Have I literally ever done an exchange without requesting something Reylo-adjacent? There was Rare Male Slash Exchange one time, I guess. I can't think of anything else.

I've already written 1.5k of fic for [redacted]'s [redacted] request, too, after vowing to myself that I was going to keep it lowkey. So that's equal parts 'yay I can still write!' and 'oh fuck the plot has only just started'.

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I've been in a reread/rewatch mood: [redacted] for Candy Hearts, Rings of Power for my boy Adar, a bit of Murderbot, dribs and drabs of old fanfic from years ago. The thought of consuming anything new-new is just exhausting right now, but I'm holding out for Shadow and Bone S2 in March, and OFMD S2 whenever they release it in Australia. I feel like my attention is all over the place, and I'm honestly kind of enjoying it - I'm usually so monofannish, despite my best efforts. It's a rare thrill to have more than one fictional world alive in my daydreams at once.

Comments

[dr_zook]

*pets teenage angst Haldir* XD

Ah, I hear you about usually being monofannish, but then-- boom, a whole new world unfolds, no, wait, two and three unfold. Haha, a rare thing to behold!

Rings of Power is still on my list (I have no Amazon TV-thinggy account), but since some human en passant spoilered the whole plot twists in a comment of an entry I tracked (it was a pinch hitters' prompts entry) I'm even more intrigued, haha.

Good to hear you're back on writing track! 1.5k of written fic (plus not being anywhere near done) sounds like another dimension for myself. 🤣

[lucymonster]

I’ll be interested to hear your thoughts on Rings of Power, when you get to it! My feelings about it are only getting more complex on rewatch. For every thing I hate about it, there’s another thing I love.

If I could choose a superpower, it wouldn’t be flight or telepathy or super strength - it would be the power to control my writing inspiration a bit better. How come I’m always full of longfic ideas when I’m time-poor, but then whenever my schedule actually clears, it’s drabbles all the way down?

[dr_zook]

For every thing I hate about it, there’s another thing I love.

And isn't that a neat thing? I mean, sometimes I'm just overwhelmed by Opinions, where people go like LOVE THIS 101%, or SHITFUCK WHAT WERE THEY THINKING, and I'm like, "Yeah, but what about just engaging entertainment? Characters with an ambiguous moral compass, or none at all, and they're still trying to get along with Things and you're along for the ride?" I'll get back to you when I got my grubby hands on the show. :D

[thenerdygirl]

I find it both cringe and weirdly amusing when I find my old fan works so I completely relate. My main saving grace is that I tended to keep it in my sketchbooks & notebooks instead of posting.

[lucymonster]

Oh, I wish I’d had that kind of sense! Mine are all out there on the internet. Nothing was too excruciatingly oversharey to post. 😂

[snickfic]

I did a lot of rereading/rewatching last fall, and it was so nice. I often don't have the patience, but for some reason I just needed it (and continue to need it, I think). It was so relaxing to just... revisit, and not experience a whole new thing.

I've already written 1.5k of fic for [redacted]'s [redacted] request, too, after vowing to myself that I was going to keep it lowkey.

👀 Yay for writing! \o/

[lucymonster]

It’s been really relaxing! It feels fresh because I’m still getting things out of the canons that I didn’t necessarily catch the last time, but without the pressure of having to absorb a whole new narrative.

I can’t believe the writing. I was struggling so much, and it’s suddenly like the floodgates have opened.

[osprey_archer]

Didn't you do a Stucky exchange back in the day? Before the dawn on the Reylo days.

I keep reading the exchange name as "Candy Heart Sex" and it makes me snicker like a thirteen-year-old every time.

[lucymonster]

You’re right, I did! I think I’ve done several Marvel-only exchanges, actually. I’d totally forgotten. So I’m breaking a habit, but not a streak.

I read it that way too lol and I love it.

[pauraque]

Fortunately I was too shy to post any fic until I was over 18 (barely) and could at least write in a passably grown-up manner. Before that, my emo teen fics were only inflicted on my RL friends, so we can thank them for taking that bullet. :P

[lucymonster]

If only I’d shared your compunctions! But no - emo Haldir was a work of genius that the whole world needed to know about.

[walgesang]

I only wish I had the excuse of being a teenager that is the abysmal stuff that is still up on adultfanfiction.net! *hides*

Yay for multifannish feels!

[lucymonster]

Oh man, I remember aff.net! I was way too young to be on there back in its heyday - I’m pretty sure I used to declare my age as somewhere in my nineties to get past the lock. 😅 (Hey, I HOPE I’m still reading/writing smutty fanfic in my nineties. Badass fandom grandma incoming.)

[nev_rbett_r]

If they're really curious, I'll give my irl co-fans my old FF net account. It's not /that/ bad and I look fondly upon the comparatively strong comment response I got on that site compared to AO3 (different fandoms, perhaps).

My forum RP days on the other hand... seriously questionable decisions were made. I also thank the indecisiveness of my changing pseuds.

Congrats on the 1.5k of fic! Sounds like you've got a good ball rolling >:D

[lucymonster]

The only person who knows most of my old pseuds is my sister - we always fandomed together, but that means I know HER old pseuds, too. 😂

I never got into forum RP, and I’m glad. Not because it doesn’t sound like fantastic fun. Just because I can only imagine how much more embarrassing my teen writing would have been if I’d pursued it collaboratively.

[nev_rbett_r]

Mutually assured destruction. Nice. I'm at a disadvantage with my long-time fandom buddy/beta. Only I have posted stuff for the broad public... at least my RP identities remain unknown.

Not only more embarrassing (it predates my fic attempts), but it's almost impossible to track it all down to purge if I wanted to. A skeleton in my closet that's been pulverized into tiny individual bone fragments, if you will. Fingers crossed I never become the main character of the day! Agh I also drew my own characters. AGH.

[cloudwrack]

Teenage me would have been all over your Haldir angst! Frodo was my crisis woobie of choice (as he was for a billion other people), but sadly most of my old ff.net fic was lost to the ages when seventeen-year-old me decided it was too embarrassing to keep around for posterity. Still kind of regret that - I’m much more forgiving of my early-teenage self now I’m in my thirties, haha.

Yaaay for 1.5k!

[lucymonster]

Frodo was my sister’s crisis woobie, too! Back when we were much younger, we used to play-act what was basically fanfic (we didn’t know the term at the time) and she would always insist on doing scenes where Frodo got stabbed or poisoned or deathly ill and I - cast in the role of the entire rest of the fellowship - had to weep over his dying body until he miraculously recovered.

[dr_zook]

Love this! :D