lucymonster: (rukia hnn)
Cheers to the new year! I've been waiting for Yuletide author reveals so that I could officially make this brag: I've posted over 150k words to AO3 this past year, trouncing my previous record of 120k in 2019. 2025 has been so intense for me creatively. This has been a year not only of prolific writing, but of pushing my boundaries, expanding my storytelling ambitions, and just straight-up enjoying my own imagination without angsting over feedback or popularity. I won't attempt to look back at all 41 (!) fics here, but I'd like to talk about a few of the big projects/moments and what I've taken from them.

Prisons of Our Making (Reylo, post-TROS Ben Solo Lives AU, 35k): I know it's small change to a lot of authors, but this is the longest fic I've ever finished. (My longest fic full stop is 66k, but it's a nearly-finished perma-WIP from years ago that I hate and no one is allowed to talk to me about it.) This was me experimenting with a whole new writing process. I've historically always been both a plan-as-you-go and edit-as-you-go writer; for this fic I forced myself to outline the whole thing before I started writing, then write the whole thing before I edited anything, and not post a single word until I was satisfied that the structure was sound and only copyedits on later chapters remained to be done. I found this process less fun in the short term but significantly less frustrating in the long - I have a well established habit of writing myself into corners and introducing late-stage twists that require major rewrites to earlier material, and this method avoided all of that.

I should note that, unusually for me, I have not actually reread a word of this fic since posting it. I'm a bit scared to. Like, what if it's rubbish? What if I am just fundamentally a shortfic author who should stick to writing oneshots? I'll probably revisit it sometime this year once the emotions have calmed down a bit, but whether or not I end up being thrilled with the final product, it definitely feels like a milestone that I got this out into the world.

It Takes a Village to Raise the Dead (Poe/Finn/Rey/Ben/Jacen resurrection bodyswap, 20k) was an exchange assignment that got stupidly out of control, and an example of what happens when I try to write long(er)fic using the as-you-go method instead of the one discussed above. It wasn't actually meant to be longfic at all - it started its life as fairly modest bodyswap shenanigans using the Force as a wafer-thin excuse - but then it bred with several other prompts and grew a plot, and the whole thing was just absolute chaos. Multiple rewrites, at least one of which was literally from scratch while others involved POV changes that completely changed what information I could or couldn't include in that scene. If it weren't for an exchange I would probably have given up. But hey, this is part of why I got so into exchanges to begin with - deadline pressure really works for me. This is another fic I'm still waiting to get enough distance from before I can reread it, but at minimum I'm proud of myself for getting it done! It involved a lot more balls in the air at once than I usually even attempt to juggle.

I Can Save Myself (Kylo/Rose superhero AU, 10k) is the "shorter", "easier" exchange assignment I wrote when I DID actually have to give up on a fic that had gotten too complicated. My first idea was for the same ship but a much more serious take on it, heavy on both plot and emotional trauma, and I wrote thousands of words and did oodles of comics canon review and Wookieepedia research before realising that it just wasn't going to come together the way I wanted it to in the time I had left. I was right on the brink of defaulting so that my soon-to-be-ex-recip could get a gift that didn't suck, but I took one last look at their request to see if there was anything I could salvage, and the words "superhero AU" jumped out at me from their likes list. I'd just recently read Hench. Suddenly, I was off and running. It was still way more than I really had time to write before deadline, but it was too much in the fun way instead of the despair-inducing way, and I bashed the whole fic out in a blur of joy and the recip ended up making fanart for it!!! So that was a fantastic experience.

Rose Tico's Charity Home for Wayward First Order Scum (post-TROS Reylo, Finnpoe, Phasma/Rose, Phasma/Kylo, Everyone Lives with bonus drinking games, 1.6k): There is nothing technically ambitious about this fic, but it's the direct product of the exact moment early on this year when I looked at the word doc in front of me and said "fuck it, I can do what I want". Some people just like to write about their favourite enemy space wizards inexplicably all being friends and acting like teenagers together, and that's valid! In the end a double-digit number of people liked this fic enough to kudos it, but I put it out in the world fully expecting silence and was okay with that because I loved (still love) what I wrote and would have continued to love it even if no one else did.

All seven of my Love Hypothesis fics: Look at me, diving headlong into a whole new fandom without dropping out of my old one in the process! This has never actually happened before; usually my head only has room for one (1) primary blorbo, with all other fannish interests restricted to dabblings and day trips. It's been really fun noodling around with Adam and Olive as characters. Despite the fact that The Love Hypothesis started its life as Reylo fic, the vibes are completely different, and it's scratching a different creative itch for me than any star war I've written. Right now I'm working on a new multichapter fic for this fandom (*puts on galaxy-brain hat* it's a fake dating AU...for the fake dating AU...) and just having so, so much fun with it in a way that feels really chill and low-pressure.

On a slightly less satisfying note, as the year progressed my writing has been feeling more and more like...you know when a kid has a growth spurt, and overnight they acquire about 20% more limb than before but don't yet know how to control it? Yeah, it's like that. It's frustrating, because while the new sense of freedom and reach is amazing, I used to feel much more in control of my prose and overall technique. I imagine that'll come back as I adjust to my new limb length, but man, I wish I could have brought all the creative energy I've had this year and felt like I was putting it into my best work yet, instead of the constant nagging awareness that even my most carefully controlled works aren't quite coming out exactly the way I want them to. It's been years since I last felt that gap between my vision and my skills, and I did not miss it.

I'm including that last bit in the post for my own posterity, but honestly, I don't want to sound like I'm ending on a sour note because my overwhelming experience this year has been that writing is FUN and I LOVE it and I WANT TO BE DOING IT ALL THE TIME. I'm deliberately not setting myself any writing goals for 2026 because I want to just keep going with the flow of whatever the fuck my brain is doing these days. Whether the energy lasts or whether I end up going fallow again for a while, I'm going to resist the urge to force things and just trust that whatever output I manage this year will be exactly what I need it to be.
lucymonster: (kylo)
[community profile] 10trueloves is a prompt challenge to create ten fanworks for one character, each work featuring a different ship (/ or &). I've chosen Kylo Ren (surprise!) and prompt table #9:

01. Safe. 02. Danger. 03. Limits. 04. Private. 05 Denial.
06. Reality. 07. Lies. 08. Wound. 09. Habits. 10. Flaws.
lucymonster: (rukia hnn)
[community profile] fandom_empire is running a round of bingo; signups are still open, though closing soon! At first glance my card isn't really sparking anything for me (not the fault of the challenge, the full list of prompts is really good) but the game is running for the next three months so I'm going to sit on my card for a while and see if inspiration shows up late with Starbucks.

...maybe it'll help if I think a bit outside my usual repertoire. Nothing on this card is screaming "Kylo Ren", but that might just mean it's time to do some writing for a different star war or maybe even a different fandom completely. It's been a while since I did that.

 12345
BGestureNervousness(Willow)
Melancholy
DystopiaBrother
IDelightFutureFound FamilyBook ClubMountain
N Feathers DeathUnknownInclusiveAdorable
GFoggyTattooMeet Me in the MorningBookwormBedroom
OSuper Bowl Farewell CeremonyUseful(Yucca)
New Opportunities
Hallucinations


Fills

Bingo:
Free bingo:
  • B2, 'Nervousness': Advancements in the Field of Entomology (The Love Hypothesis, Adam/Olive, T, 750w)
  • B5, 'Brother': Dregs (Bleach, Byakuya & Rukia + unrequited Renji/Rukia, G, 1.1k)
  • O2, 'Farewell Ceremony': Housewarming (The Love Hypothesis, Adam/Olive + ensemble, T, 1.1k)
  • O3, 'Useful': Qimir's Mask (Star Wars: The Acolyte and Legacy of Vader, Tava Ren & Qimir, T, 800w)
  • O4, '(Yucca) New Opportunities': Desert Flower (The Hurricane Wars, Alaric/Talasyn, G, 1.3k)

lucymonster: (rukia hnn)
After a long creative fallow period, my writing mojo has suddenly come back all in a rush. I've published 32k of fic in the last few weeks, which is more than I've managed in the last three years combined. It feels amazing! And maddening, because I have so many fucking ideas right now and not actually all that much time to work on them. But it's the good kind of maddening. I'm having a blast!

Candy Hearts exchange
My Candy Hearts assignment is what set everything off. 'It'll be fine,' I told myself, signing up. 'My last few exchange experiences have been highly stressful scrambles to get anything written by deadline, but this time I'll take it super chill and write a modest little ficlet for a ship I'm already super confident with. What could go wrong?'

And then instead of doing that I got way too inspired by my recip's excellent prompts and wrote, uh. Nearly 15k of Kylo Ren getting beaten up by a giant slug and having frottage with Finn about it (here, if you're game). The words all just came rushing out, I was writing a few thousand per sitting and having so much fun. My starting concept was 'Finnlo h/c and huddling for warmth on Hoth', but it felt like nerfing Kylo a bit too much to have him rendered helpless and dependent on his stormtrooper escort's mercy by just a wampa, so I was browsing Wookieepedia for inspiration as I puzzled it out and that's how I learnt that these bad boys canonically exist on Hoth (never change, Star Wars). After that everything just fell into place.

After that I thought I was done with CH, but then reveals got delayed and a treat idea came blazing fully formed into my brain. So I wrote another 5k of teenaged Poe, Jacen and Ben getting into trouble at Luke's Jedi temple, all in one frantic sitting the day before work reveals. I was putting in typo fixes down to the minute on that one, lol. Live fast die young. :D

Bad Sex Bingo
I've also gone absolutely mental for my Bad Sex Bingo card. I've been tracking my progress at the linked post, but to summarise: eight fics so far, bingo in two directions, ideas in reserve for every remaining square. Kylo Ren has been having SO much bad sex, you guys. :DDD I'm trying to rein myself in now to save some energy for May the Fourth, but I'm really enjoying having something of my own to just noodle away at.

It's actually made me realise how long it's been since I wrote for myself instead of putting all my effort into exchange fic. No regrets - exchanges have been really good for me for a lot of reasons, but one of them is that they seem to have cured me of a long-running insecurity about feedback stats. I'm generally pretty confident about my writing itself (I know my strengths, I'm working on my weaknesses, and I'm good enough that I can always make the words say at least a close approximation of what I want them to, which to me is the most important part) but I used to feel so self-conscious and vulnerable about the social side of things. I felt like I needed "permission" to share my writing publicly, and permission could mean a small close-knit fannish friend group or a bunch of kudos from strangers but it always had to come from other people, if that makes sense. Writing for exchange requests was about the most explicit permission possible, and it seems to have acted as an interim step in weaning me off a need for public approval? Because I've gotten used to writing all sorts of niche stuff that I haven't felt embarrassed to publish so long as one person wants it, and from there it's a much easier jump to "well, I myself am one person, I can publish things just because I want them" and I just...don't feel worried about it anymore? So now I'm posting all this niche Bad Sex Bingo fic written solely to amuse myself, and some of it is attracting lots of readers and some of it isn't, and I'm feeling able to just enjoy whatever feedback I get for what it is without needing it to reassure me that I haven't made a fool of myself by being That Loser Who Posts Fic No One Wants And Who We All Just Wish Would Shut Up.

...anyway. That's me done navelgazing for now. Although, derailing a smutfic project into a big introspection session on my own issues feels very on brand for a Kylo Ren's Sex Life Is an Angst-Fueled Disaster project. The point is I am having a LOT OF FUN and feeling really comfortable in my own fannish skin right now, and it's nice.
lucymonster: (kylo)
[tumblr.com profile] badsexbingo is the event I never knew I needed. Visit their tumblr page to get your own card! Here's mine:



I've already identified several easy paths to bingo that I can choose from. I want to see how close I can get to a blackout writing ONLY ships with Kylo Ren - because let's be real, if anyone deserves bad sex, it's him.

Fills:
lucymonster: (rukia hnn)
[personal profile] 1loulu5 is running Obscure Sorrows, a prompt challenge based on the Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows. I've been assigned the prompt agnosthesia:
n. the state of not knowing how you really feel about something, which forces you to sift through clues hidden in your behavior, as if you were some other person—noticing a twist of acid in your voice, an obscene amount of effort put into something trifling, or an inexplicable weight on your shoulders that makes it difficult to get out of bed.
Signups are open throughout the writing period (until 29 July), if you guys fancy it!

This year's Sunshine Challenge is also up and running. I'm not Committing(TM) to completing the whole challenge, but I'm going to keep an eye on the prompts and see if anything sparks an idea.
lucymonster: (reylo carry)
Today, for reasons too dull and convoluted to be worth recounting, I experienced the mortifying ordeal of rediscovering one's teenage fanfic. I daresay it's done me good. From now on, if I'm ever tempted to get sniffy about Kids These Days with their issuefic and their thinly veiled self-inserts, I can remind myself of the time I published angsty teen-mental-health-crisis fic about fucking Haldir from Lord of the Rings and eat some nice, nutritious humble pie.

(Thank goodness I used to change pseuds so often. Fifteen-year-old me is not untraceable, exactly, but you'd have to work bloody hard and the payoff would be shit.)

-

I think I'm probably done tinkering with my [personal profile] candyheartsex  signup? I've taken a radically different approach this time: instead of my usual maximalist requests, I've whittled myself down to just three teeny-tiny rare ships/gen combos. I think it's the right call. I wanted all the things I was originally planning to request, but these are the ones my heart seems to be most set on right now. Two of my three fandoms already have offers, too, so it's possible I won't even be a pinch hit!

It feels bizarre not to be requesting anything Reylo-adjacent. Have I literally ever done an exchange without requesting something Reylo-adjacent? There was Rare Male Slash Exchange one time, I guess. I can't think of anything else.

I've already written 1.5k of fic for [redacted]'s [redacted] request, too, after vowing to myself that I was going to keep it lowkey. So that's equal parts 'yay I can still write!' and 'oh fuck the plot has only just started'.

-

I've been in a reread/rewatch mood: [redacted] for Candy Hearts, Rings of Power for my boy Adar, a bit of Murderbot, dribs and drabs of old fanfic from years ago. The thought of consuming anything new-new is just exhausting right now, but I'm holding out for Shadow and Bone S2 in March, and OFMD S2 whenever they release it in Australia. I feel like my attention is all over the place, and I'm honestly kind of enjoying it - I'm usually so monofannish, despite my best efforts. It's a rare thrill to have more than one fictional world alive in my daydreams at once.
lucymonster: (skeleton)
Fannish update: I am not doing Chocolate Box this year after all, because Chocolate Box mods are taking a (by the sound of it, badly needed) year off. Instead I'm doing [personal profile] candyheartsex! It's a one-off replacement exchange running on exactly the same schedule and I'm super excited for it.

I admit I'm also a little anxious about taking part in a gift exchange again, after having a go at writing the little ficlet I was talking about. It went really really badly. I'm so rusty: my prose felt sloppy, but worse than that, my thinking was all clouded. I couldn't seem to get the characters to do what I wanted, or even answer 'what the hell is this story about' to a satisfying extent, even though it felt so clear until I started trying to put it in words. Just, a mess. Fucking baby's first fanfic all over again. I don't want to ruin anyone's Valentine's Day by accidentally gifting them legolas by lucy, so I have to sort my shit out before signups, but right now I kind of feel like deleting gdocs and never looking at it again. Gah.

-

Bret Devereaux, of in-depth military historian's analysis of LotR fame, is back again with a deeply satisfying breakdown of what made the worldbuilding in Rings of Power so broken. I have complicated feelings about RoP: it gave me a shiny new blorbo who I love to pieces (Adar, bby <33333) and I'm defensive of it thanks to all the ridiculous right-wing outrage about Black elves and female leads, but it was also just really bad, and not even in a fun trashy way, but in a borderline unwatchable way. I never put much thought into exactly what made it bad - the extent of my critical engagement was nodding along angrily with Erik Kain's coverage and ranting to my sister about how bugfuck crazy it was that Amazon put two guys with zero IMDB credits in charge of such a massive production - so I really enjoyed seeing all my vague 'something's off here' feelings laid out in Devereaux's trademark pedantic detail.

But I'm not just linking the article for RoP hatewatch reasons. It has interesting things to say about writing craft and the 'rules' of worldbuilding in general, and also some very interesting facts about volcanoes.

-

Some great new metal finds this week!

All That Was Promised by Hath
 got recommended in a 2022 best-of that Bandcamp emailed me, and was good enough to make me forgive the fact that I've opted out of Bandcamp promo emails multiple times now so shouldn't have received it in the first place. It's blistering, richly emotive death metal with strong blackened and melodic elements. My days of being hopelessly weak for harsh vocals seasoned with just a tiny pinch of cleans are clearly coming to a middle.

Freedom of Fear win massive bonus points for being 1) Aussie and 2) female-fronted, but they honestly don't need the help. Per AMG: "influences including 90’s symphonic black metal, traces of the classic Gothenburg sound, and a heavy dose of blistering tech death". I hope they tour near me soon. I already know I won't go, but it would be nice to entertain the fantasy that I might.

Just Before Dawn fill a hole in my collection of bleak war-themed death metal that I didn't even know was there. Seriously, it feels like I should have been listening to these guys for years. They remind me a lot of Hail of Bullets, minus the really distinctive vocals but no weaker for it. Link goes to one of their newer songs about the Vietnam War. I've got WWI, WWII and plenty of War Not Otherwise Specified in rotation, but I don't think I've ever listened to metal about Vietnam.

-

Edit, I almost forgot: new trailer for Jedi: Survivor, the sequel to Fallen Order! IT LOOKS AMAZING OMG.



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