teach me the art of war

AKA 'multifandom gift exchanges are a great way to hoist colours on my teeny-tiny ships that would otherwise never float, and I've been abusing the privilege for a while now'. All these ships have less than 100 fics on ao3 (and usually a lot less). Most of what I'm linking here is either for me or by me; the remainder are also exchange fics, but have nothing to do with me except that I like them. All fics are comfortably under 10k (most within the 1-5k band).

This might end up being part one of two, because I have enough recs for Kylo/various trio members to flesh out a whole second post.

Qi'ra/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren

I'm starting with this ship because it was my first, emboldening experience willing a non-existent ship into existence (six fics on ao3 are tagged with this ship; five of them have my name attached somewhere). Consider: hot older lady/messy disaster lover she can wrap around her finger! Both of them have betrayed Han Solo! Qi'ra literally used to date Ben's dad! It's just such a terrible idea, and terrible ideas make for wonderful stories. If that sounds appealing, here are two great places to start:

a million ways to toe the line by spookykingdomstarlight draws deep from the well of Han Solo angst to portray a desperately unhealthy fling that nonetheless meets an important need for both characters involved and me, it also meets an important need for me. It belongs to the laudable genre of 'sex scene as character study' and (to quote from my own comment) "the overall effect is intensely claustrophobic - like, get them both out of here, let this all be a bad dream, let this not really be their lives." It's deliciously angsty.

Ostinato by ambiguityisnoonesfriend is just as dysfunctional on the romantic front, with a really satisfying 'actually quite an effective match in the professional sphere' angle - Ben has fled his Kylo Ren identity, made up yet another new name, and is working as Qi'ra's bodyguard in the dangerous world of intergalactic criminal cartels. This fic looks Qi'ra's past with Ben's father dead in the eye in a way that's equal parts poetic and (intentionally) crude, and the result is as beautiful as it is uncomfortable. 

Zorii Bliss/Ben Solo

Now for something even rarer! To the best of my knowledge, there's only one canonverse fic for this ship on ao3. It's a lot less twisted than Qi'ra/Kylo, though not necessarily less fraught - Ben headed the regime that destroyed Zorii's homeworld, first by conscripting all its children as soldiers and brutally oppressing its remaining citizens, then by literally blowing it up. 

But Harm Reduction by magnetgirl is a masterclass in the kind of redemption story I like best: one where Ben is truly willing to work at making amends with or without the prospect of being forgiven, and where Zorii's forgiveness is more about finding her own peace than helping him find his. Plot-wise, it's a super fun riff on Leverage in which Zorii heads up a small crew of misfits who devote themselves, after the war with the First Order is over, to trawling the galaxy and mopping up the damage by questionably legal means.

Ren/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren

The character of Ren was introduced in The Rise of Kylo Ren, a four-part comic miniseries that was released in the lead-up to the final Star Wars sequel movie. He's the former leader of the Knights of Ren, an opportunistic Force-sensitive criminal with a deeply nihilistic, 'survival of the fittest' type outlook. World's most predictable spoiler alert, Kylo kills him and takes his place.

got no heroes 'cause our heroes are dead is my shot at fleshing out Ren's character a bit more, and exploring his failure of perception re. the power dynamic between him and Kylo: in canon, he misreads Kylo's struggle with the dark side as a lack of aptitude for it, and gets himself super dead as a result. He strikes me as someone who has a really crude, simplistic, blanket kind of understanding of strength vs weakness, and I thought that would be fun to play out in the context of an intimate relationship. He thinks he's found himself a boytoy; Kylo thinks something else.

One other fun tidbit of characterisation we have for Ren is that he's image-conscious: the first thing he does on allowing Kylo to join the Knights of Ren is insist he go change into an outfit of fitted black leather, in keeping with the gang's reputation. From that fertile soil grows Doing the Right Thing by thedevilchicken, which contains both excellent clothing kink and a really compelling portrait of the unbalanced, somewhat pathetic state Kylo's in around the time of his fall to the dark side.

Ben Solo | Kylo Ren/Rose Tico

lay him down on a bed of thorns by lamiacalls is richly angsty, darkly smutty needleplay-as-character-study and I don't know how better to sell it than that. I love how this fic showcases Rose's compassion and rage in equal parts, as well as Ben's broken relationship with pain - this is a man we've seen deliberately punch himself in the fresh gut wound, so I'm more than willing to believe that his version of intimacy veers towards the masochistic as well.

Across Enemy Lines by igrockspock features pre- (or non-?) redeemed Ben living a compartmentalised little life as a nerdy mechanic when he's not busy stomping around battlefields as Kylo Ren. He and Rose fall in love without either of them really knowing who the other is (at least in part because they don't want to know), and the resulting affair is as fraught and bittersweet as you could dream.

I'm also proud of my own writing for this ship! I've written a few fics, but my favourite is you tell me we can start the rain: Ben, who post-redemption is living in exile as a subsistence moisture farmer on Tatooine, has to look after a Rose who's been corrupted by a dark side artifact. Rose-who's-not-quite-herself was a really fun perspective to write from, and I also enjoyed turning the more natural dynamic - volatile Ben and grounded, righteous Rose - on its head.

Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren/Rose Tico

Tension bysyrupwit is a delightful pre-threesome fic: Reylo is a foregone conclusion in all its Force bond weirdness, Rose is desperately besotted with Rey, and getting close to Rey means putting up with her other half as well. 

Poe Dameron/Luke Skywalker/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren

Lost in Translation by naughty_sock (archive-locked) is as much a love letter to fandom in all its unabashed weirdness as it is to this ship in particular. Ben and Poe, pre-canon, are travelling with Luke on a Jedi excursion that ends in tentacles, mpreg, and wildly inappropriate use of the Force. It's bitingly funny, tongue-in-cheek without being mocking, and hot even if tentacles aren't your usual thing (or at least, tentacles aren't my thing, and I still found it hot).

Ben Solo | Kylo Ren/Voe

Okay, now I'm just being self-indulgent: this ship is probably my hardest sell, not least because in canon, he kills her (but what if he DIDN'T though???). Voe is another character from the Kylo Ren backstory comics, a fellow padawan at Luke's Jedi training temple who has a deeply lopsided competitive relationship with Ben - he's Luke's prize student, and she never quite feels she measures up. Their relationship is dismissive on his side, hostile and jealous on hers. But in my head, it's an epic love story for the ages in which Voe survives the comics and comes back to haunt Ben later in life.

Anyway, so far no one other than me has written the ship at all, and my only contribution has been a single piece of bite-sized kinkfic. But here it is: Losing Strategy, featuring fight sex, broken promises and very dubious consent.

I'm home and recovered from my visit home over Easter. Family holidays are always equal parts restorative and draining, but mostly I'm just glad I got to GO this year. The dogs were great; the horses were great; the birds were a bit unfriendly, but that's normal. Also my folks have a cat now, despite the fact that they and all their children are painfully allergic. She's an absolute darling and well worth the industrial quantities of antihistamines I had to take to be able to pet her. I took my rats, who found the change of scene alarming in a way that's probably good for them. Shake off the ennui a bit. Change their sleepy little lives up.

Anyway, I have some flist catch-up to do soon. I also have updates on both fandom stuff and media consumption. It's all a bit of a hodgepodge.


Fandom

My exchange, kinkluckydip, is all wrapped up! I'm really happy with how it went and still working my way through the collection of amazing works people produced for it. I got six (!!!) gifts, all of which I adored and can whole-heartedly recommend:

a little egg transfer between friends by snickfic  - MCU, Minn-Erva/Valkyrie - oviposition and alien heat/breeding cycles with belly kink, cervix penetration and tentacles. This fic was WILD in the greatest way, and I enjoyed the fun, carefree dynamic between Minn-Erva and Val every bit as much as the iddy kink content.

Feeling Zabimaru by cherryontop - Bleach, Byakuya/Renji - insanely hot, manga-accurate art with bondage and weapon play (because we ALL AGREE every shinigami has at one point or other fucked their zanpakuto, right??).

In the Middle by ambiguityisnoonesfriend  - Star Wars, Poe/Finn/Ben with background Poe/Finn/Ben/Rey - double penetration and inappropriate use of the Force. The balance of attraction and resentment was perfect, and the smut blew my tiny mind, it was SO HOT omg.

Lady Lion by filigranka - Star Wars, Leia/Phasma - beautifully callous First Order Wins noncon. This late treat came in right when I already thought I'd been spoilt to perfection, and made everything even perfect-er. Fair warning it is DARK, but that's why I love it.

lay him down on a bed of thorns by lamiacalls - Star Wars, Ben/Rose - needleplay, skin-sewing and some bloodplay. This was my first time reading anything of the sort, and I was blown away by both how sensual it was and how well it suited the characters. Angst and self-hatred and aaall the good shit.

Sketches by TheseusInTheMaze - Descendants, Evie/Mal - foot kink, clothing kink and loyalty. This was the perfect, kinky Descendants-for-grown-ups treat that captured everything I love about the ship while making feet hotter to me than they've ever been before.


Viewing

Hobbs & Shaw and The Fate of the Furious - I've now seen every single Fast & Furious movie, which is unfortunately the price I pay for marital harmony, only this time I wasn't even mad because Hobbs & Shaw is actually GREAT. No shade on Vin Diesel, but there's only so many hours I can watch him brood before it starts to get old. I liked having him out of the way for a movie. The Rock and his one-liners never get old. I don't think there was a single joke in whole thing I didn't laugh at (yes, I laughed my arse off at Mike Oxmaul and Hugh Janus; yes, there's a chance I'm closer to the target audience for these ridiculous movies than I like to pretend). Seeing Jason Statham shoot up terrorists while nursing a tiny baby also bypassed my entire neocortex and went straight for the lizard brain. 10/10, will almost definitely watch again with friends, pizza and large amounts of beer.

SCP: Overlord - I know next to nothing about the whole SCP thing, but this short film piqued my interest. It was exactly my kind of horror, creepy and atmospheric and mercifully gore-free. I don't have much to say about it except that I loved the concept, thought the execution was really impressive, and would like to see more.

Traffic Cops - I know. I KNOW. My mum, a lifelong fan of police procedurals, has been branching out into reality TV. I decided to take a polite interest. Next thing I knew, I'd spent two full days of the Easter long weekend parked on the couch with every other female family member, white-knuckling it through car chase after car chase and thirsting over Derbyshire PCs Jason Potts and Alex Boniface. Fucking hypnotic, I'm telling you. They've made 21 seasons of this shit. God help me.


Reading

What Every Body is Saying by Joe Navarro - I went into this book with a healthy amount of skepticism, because I associate the study of body language mostly with dumb urban myths about how if you touch your nose or glance to the right then it proves you're a lying liar who lies. Actually, Navarro is emphatic that there's no reliable way to detect dishonesty through nonverbal behaviour. What you can detect is discomfort, which might mean someone is lying to you but might just as well mean they're afraid they left the stove on or your perfume reminds them of a hated ex. I hope this knowledge reaches the general pop-psych enthusiast community soon. I have heaps of involuntary behaviours straight off one of those 'how to tell you're being lied to' lists, and they're all purely social anxiety related. No, I'm not lying to you because I broke eye contact and put my hand on my neck! I'm just replaying the last joke I told on loop, trying to crystal-ball discern if your laughter was fake and you actually think I'm an unfunny loser.

Overall it was a good book. A lot of it boils down to putting labels on the kinds of subtle physical cues we often pick up on instinctively, but labels can be helpful, I think. 'Jim spent the whole meeting thinning his lips and angling towards the exit' is a lot more compelling than 'Iunno, boss, I just get the vibe we don't have full team buy-in yet'.


Listening

I've set myself a mini-project to include more female vocals in my music - harsh female vocals, especially. I gravitate towards genres that are unfortunately still a bit of a sausagefest, but there are some amazing women out there making metal just as raw and heavy as any male growler.

This week I've had For I Am King on repeat a lot. They're melodic and catchy and have a cool backstory: Alma Alizadeh is an Iranian refugee who started her music career on bass and taught herself to scream on a whim. I'm completely obsessed with their whole second album, I. Prey, Forever Blind and Misery are particularly my jam. 

Not sure who the fuck Minn-Erva is? That's fine, this post is for you anyway. Behold:



(gif by sersi on tumblr)

She's a bit player in the MCU, yes. She's technically dead, yes. But she's also bitchy and badass and blue, and we love her for it. You hardly even need to remember what she did in canon. The answer is: fuck all, but who cares? (If you want an actual answer, her wiki page is a very short read.)

Minn-Erva fandom is great for sharp-edged femslash, enemies-to-lovers tropes, wicked banter and a healthy dose of hot, rough smut. If that sounds like your bag, then settle in: here are my top ten favourite Minn-Erva-centric fics. They're ordered by ship type, not preference. Everything on here is a gem.


Carol Danvers/Minn-Erva

There's Mess by scioscribe 
Right off the bat, here are those sharp edges I promised. Carol is back on Hala a year or so after the events of Captain Marvel, and Minn-Erva has a lot of complex feelings about it that she works through the old-fashioned way: with scorching hot, subtly xeno sex.

Hold Me Closer, Say You Love Me by the_wavesinger 
This is tagged 'hatesex turns gentle' and 'Minn-Erva vs Feelings', and that's exactly what it is. Carol takes Minn-Erva prisoner, they have dubiously consensual sex, and Minn-Erva takes it very hard when instead of hurting her, Carol treats her tenderly.

red is for a different kind of thirst by madeinessos 
This one is less explicit, but full of the crackling sexual tension and complicated not-quite-romance, not-quite-hate this ship is so good for. Directly post-canon, Carol finds Minn-Erva and demands answers about her past.


Other femslash

The Good of All Kree by snickfic 
Minn-Erva and Nebula meet while working with Ronan and Thanos. This fic has violent sexual chemistry in spades, woven through with immersive cosmic MCU worldbuilding and a well-earned happy ending after all the angst.

Bar Room Diplomacy by glassesofjustice 
If the last rec whetted your appetite for Minn-Erva/Nebula, then here's a sweet, flirtatious drabble with bonus Valkyrie. The three of them meet on Sakaar, and Nebula persuades the other two to share her.

Take a Shot by snickfic 
And if that whetted your appetite, then here's a Valkyrie/Minn-Erva feast. After the destruction of Asgard and the fall of the Kree Empire, Minn-Erva takes a job as extra hired muscle on board the Statesman. The relationship evolves organically from no-strings sex to a deep, heart-healing connection between two of the MCU's most cynical disaster women.

If You Only Eat When You're Hungry by scioscribe 
After the events of Captain Marvel, Minn-Erva finds herself stuck on earth and seeks grudging refuge with Maria Rambeau. The food porn is fantastic, the character voices are perfectly gritty, and the sex is capital-h Hot.


Het ships

born for society by snickfic 
Because the ony thing hotter than one bitchy blue badass is two bitchy blue badasses. Loki and Minn-Erva blunder their way into a meaningful relationship through what was meant to be a series of meaningless one-night stands.

Talk by lionessvalenti 
Minn-Erva pisses in Loki's mouth. That's all you need to know to decide if this drabble is for you or not. But if it sounds good, I promise you, it really really is good.

Control by nunu52chu 
I'm bending my Minn-Erva centric criterion a bit here, because this is really a fic about Yon-Rogg. But aside from being a perfectly dark and ugly character study, scene three where he and Minn-Erva hook up is so convincing that it's become a permanent entry on my ledger of Minn-Erva headcanons.