Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

I saw it last night! :D My spoiler-free reactions are:

1. It was timid, predictable, pandering nonsense with a plot that only felt like it hung together because it moved too fast to give anyone a clear look at its many flaws.
2. Despite that, I immensely and unreservedly enjoyed every minute, with a few bits that transcended my general glee to join the ranks of 'favourite Star Wars moments ever'.
3. I now worship at the church of spoilers, and I never want to see another film I'm invested in without first reading the whole plot synopsis and popcorning as many hours of batshit fan reactions as I can get. Going in like I did last night, with accurately calibrated expectations and pre-built hype for all the right scenes, was a magical experience. Turns out I get zero percent of my viewing pleasure from suspense. There wasn't a single twist that I regretted not having been surprised by. 

My significantly less spoiler-free reactions are below the cut.

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